parents..... haizz

[kura]

once a baby always a baby...... this phrase is wad i think.....
why are parents juz cares so much... that hurts the child so much.... like me?
haizzzzzzzzzzz

maybe i m not suppose to be here......=/

[hikikomori]

huh????????

[Naoko]

dun allow u go out again? o.o;;;

i hope u didnt ask money for going out~~ o.o;;;

[ウルキオラ]

huh what happen???

[kura]

hmm? .... no arh.... =/

when i go out i... din even ask for any money btw.... =/

i work so hard to get an oversea attachment.... been my wish to go oversea..... since long time ago...

now i get it.... this time round to germany.... my mom afirst agree... den now... like dun wan me to go liao..... NICE LOR...

even since young.... my mom control my life...
i told my mom i cannot go business ...den force me go in ... BIT in ite thru o lvl... higher nitec... in the end oso drop out... now in DMD nitec course in bedok.... tat is coz i cmi in business... intotal i wasted 2 years there....

this time round i... wanna go there for experience.... coz winter time mahz... she machiam treat me like going there for holiday... say "if u wan got winter area i can bring u.... my family in usa wad.."

seriously i been hearing this from PRIMARY 6... tt time say wan to let me go study there.... now wad? still in sg.... blank cheque... all blank one...

coz of this attachment .. i turn down a lot of outing n event.... nice lor... den suddenly say dun let me go... fk off lah... *i m very pissed off now*

she gave my curfew i dun care... she control me all the thing... do this n that... i dun like! u think i luv it mehz? ... shw always goes like " as long u are under my roof... i m to control u..." wad shit!..... sua... she wasted my 2 years... i din make noise... now this attachment thing... nice lor... FOR WAD I WORK SO HARD SIA
waste my energy......

=/

thx for listening to my rantings =///

[ireneyksoh]

parents are mostly like that....

even though i am now 20plus, my mum still treat me like a small kid... ...

guess what.... she still reach out to hold my hand whenever we cross the road... ...

[ウルキオラ]

i use to have this kind of life, this is shit stuff...last time whatever parents say bring u all go other country for holiday...that is shit..even my parents say bring us go oversea for holiday...i just listen can liao, in my hearts tell mi that those words are crap...btw i am 18 this year.

[Haerjun]

If you are already accepted for the attachment and you have the money for it, go for it. She cannot stop you. It's your future and I'm sure you know what you want to do at your age now. My teacher had very bad parents as well. They were very bad to her and also wanted to control her life and future. They wanted her to be engineer or something but she loves literature. What she did was she worked very hard and earned a scholarship and she just fly off to overseas to study her literature. When she came back to Singapore, she worked and lived on her own. She dared to dream and she dared to go for what she want. Now she's such a happy teacher. I'm sure if you are as determined as her, you can do it as well.

~~ Hal

[kura]

i use to have this kind of life, this is shit stuff...last time whatever parents say bring u all go other country for holiday...that is shit..even my parents say bring us go oversea for holiday...i just listen can liao, in my hearts tell mi that those words are crap...btw i am 18 this year.

hahahahaha! i m 19 this year...... everything... still the same for me....

well
once a baby always a baby? maybe bah... =/

n oso.... she said i not matured... coz i always quarrel wif her....
wad? that is not chidlsh or matured either.......
so does it means.... she is always right... n i m always wrong?...oh i m wrong....
=/

[kura]

If you are already accepted for the attachment and you have the money for it, go for it. She cannot stop you. It's your future and I'm sure you know what you want to do at your age now. My teacher had very bad parents as well. They were very bad to her and also wanted to control her life and future. They wanted her to be engineer or something but she loves literature. What she did was she worked very hard and earned a scholarship and she just fly off to overseas to study her literature. When she came back to Singapore, she worked and lived on her own. She dared to dream and she dared to go for what she want. Now she's such a happy teacher. I'm sure if you are as determined as her, you can do it as well.

~~ Hal

=/ i m accepted... but my parents... no..... n i dun have such money... but my dad is willing to support me... this morning my bro goes like
"japan or germany nice?" ... i stare at him n say japan.....n he goes like "let's go japan ^^" .... well like i believe....

[kura]

juz now we had a meeting section for the attachment.... den.. my mom said to me "if u wan snow... we go usa.." ALL SHIT... like.. dunno since when say wan go usa... all LIES..... in the end oso she goes onli... i wan go oso cannot....

[kura]

my mom always say..."nxt time in future u can... earn ur chance to go"

NOW I STRIVE SO HARD... DEN EARN A ATTACHMENT.... STILL CANNOT GO....=// .... for wad i study or design so hard..... btw... i chiong till i got 4 GPA

4 is.... the max point.....

still like that... all look down on me too =/ den might as well from now on... dun do well liao.... as long can go poly can le... =/// or might as well dun study so much... study well... got selected to go attachment..... not good... dun study oso not good... wan me do wad sia.... i shld enjoy wad... i have earn.. they dun gif me... nice lah...

WAD A WONDERFUL LIFE I HAD~ <3

[ウルキオラ]

hahahahaha! i m 19 this year...... everything... still the same for me....

well
once a baby always a baby? maybe bah... =/

n oso.... she said i not matured... coz i always quarrel wif her....
wad? that is not chidlsh or matured either.......
so does it means.... she is always right... n i m always wrong?...oh i m wrong....
=/

quarrel wif her also no use...she still ur mother...the only way is to prove to her i can do it...

i dun usually quarrel wif my mum, if quarrel i will talk back until my mum got nth to say...did those before, but my heart dun feel so good after all...just tell her i prove to u i can do it( whatever you needed to do ) show her...sometime parents think they are right we kids ar wrong...i also dunno y also...

[ウルキオラ]

my mom always say..."nxt time in future u can... earn ur chance to go"

NOW I STRIVE SO HARD... DEN EARN A ATTACHMENT.... STILL CANNOT GO....=// .... for wad i study or design so hard..... btw... i chiong till i got 4 GPA

4 is.... the max point.....

still like that... all look down on me too =/ den might as well from now on... dun do well liao.... as long can go poly can le... =/// or might as well dun study so much... study well... got selected to go attachment..... not good... dun study oso not good... wan me do wad sia.... i shld enjoy wad... i have earn.. they dun gif me... nice lah...

WAD A WONDERFUL LIFE I HAD~ <3


u still got 4 GPA...i 3 nia...so normally i go oversea is wif my cousin not wif my parents...cos their words cannot be trusted...

[kura]

u still got 4 GPA...i 3 nia...so normally i go oversea is wif my cousin not wif my parents...cos their words cannot be trusted...

my cousin.... all in... usa.... i m alone down here..... :(
i depends on friends... not family members.....

my family is like...
everyone gets home... n do their own stuff... dinner oso dun eat together... like... nothing... like tt....

i m always alone down here..... yet i work so hard ... trying to prove myself...

but no one is there.... =/

[Haerjun]

Kura >>> If you have your dad's support, go. You've earned it, you deserved it. If you really want to go, then you should forget what your mother say. I'm not asking you to become unfilial or something like that, but it is really your future. And if she said she'll bring you to USA if you want snow, then tell her that it's not snow that you want. It's your future and the experience and eye-opener such an attachment can give you. If you had wanted snow and snow only, you could have gone to snow city for goodness sake. If someone worked so hard to maintain GPA4 to go and see snow, then this person must be crazy about snow. I'm sure you are not just crazy about snow, you are passionate about your course and that is why you wanted to go for this attachment. Don't give up your dream and tell your mother in her face that you are going, whether she likes it or not. She can hit you or scold you or scream and threaten, but if you hold firm on your stand, there is nothing she can do and eventually [maybe 10years down the road?] she will know that YOU are the only one who has the right to decide for your own future. Besides, you've got your dad's support so you are not at a total losing end here.

~~ Hal

[kura]

quarrel wif her also no use...she still ur mother...the only way is to prove to her i can do it...

i dun usually quarrel wif my mum, if quarrel i will talk back until my mum got nth to say...did those before, but my heart dun feel so good after all...just tell her i prove to u i can do it( whatever you needed to do ) show her...sometime parents think they are right we kids ar wrong...i also dunno y also...

sometimes i juz not i wan to quarrel.... juz she dun understand

i m in DMD digital media design...... nowadays... not much traditional art medium liao.... she... goes like.... scolding me... whenever i use... too much computer... n stay over night to chiong some work... it is not a free... and relax thing when u are in dmd..... tho when i m free.... i always in spend my time wif friends... or on games... =/

[ウルキオラ]

my cousin.... all in... usa.... i m alone down here..... :(
i depends on friends... not family members.....

my family is like...
everyone gets home... n do their own stuff... dinner oso dun eat together... like... nothing... like tt....

i m always alone down here..... yet i work so hard ... trying to prove myself...

but no one is there.... =/


oh my god...all in USA...parents come home never tok to each other???lk asking how ur day or have u eaten? now my life is lk that la...but most of the time i dun really wan to ans them but no choice i respect them as my parents so just tok to them but most of the problem is in my heart...nobody know what am i tinking abt.

[kura]

Kura >>> If you have your dad's support, go. You've earned it, you deserved it. If you really want to go, then you should forget what your mother say. I'm not asking you to become unfilial or something like that, but it is really your future. And if she said she'll bring you to USA if you want snow, then tell her that it's not snow that you want. It's your future and the experience and eye-opener such an attachment can give you. If you had wanted snow and snow only, you could have gone to snow city for goodness sake. If someone worked so hard to maintain GPA4 to go and see snow, then this person must be crazy about snow. I'm sure you are not just crazy about snow, you are passionate about your course and that is why you wanted to go for this attachment. Don't give up your dream and tell your mother in her face that you are going, whether she likes it or not. She can hit you or scold you or scream and threaten, but if you hold firm on your stand, there is nothing she can do and eventually [maybe 10years down the road?] she will know that YOU are the only one who has the right to decide for your own future. Besides, you've got your dad's support so you are not at a total losing end here.

~~ Hal

thanks for encouraging me :)

[ウルキオラ]

sometimes i juz not i wan to quarrel.... juz she dun understand

i m in DMD digital media design...... nowadays... not much traditional art medium liao.... she... goes like.... scolding me... whenever i use... too much computer... n stay over night to chiong some work... it is not a free... and relax thing when u are in dmd..... tho when i m free.... i always in spend my time wif friends... or on games... =/

she will be saying something lk all these stuff not good for ur future...study something that good for u izzit...

using computer is not wrong i wonder y she scold u...izzit the bill too much?

spend time wif friends is good can chat...i dun really go out alot so i read manga alone to kill time and let mi forget the unhappy stuff.

[kura]

oh my god...all in USA...parents come home never tok to each other???lk asking how ur day or have u eaten? now my life is lk that la...but most of the time i dun really wan to ans them but no choice i respect them as my parents so just tok to them but most of the problem is in my heart...nobody know what am i tinking abt.

=/ yes all in usa....

my parents dun even talk to each other..... n they even talk to me too...
come home... quiet quiet..... i wish they will talk to me so nicely like..."how is ur day?" my problems .... i dun talk to my parents much about my problems... more like... talking to my friends about it

n ranked my friend over my family.... v.v coz of wad they had did to me....

[kura]

she will be saying something lk all these stuff not good for ur future...study something that good for u izzit...

using computer is not wrong i wonder y she scold u...izzit the bill too much?

spend time wif friends is good can chat...i dun really go out alot so i read manga alone to kill time and let mi forget the unhappy stuff.

yea like last time when choosing course......"design not good dun go design... go business IT!!" so there 2 years *one for olvl one for course* wasted...

it is not the billing which is eyes... she said something about my eyes... lol saying i will goes blind -.-;

i read manga too.... but... i hate feeling so lonely... n i hate rotting at home

[ウルキオラ]

=/ yes all in usa....

my parents dun even talk to each other..... n they even talk to me too...
come home... quiet quiet..... i wish they will talk to me so nicely like..."how is ur day?" my problems .... i dun talk to my parents much about my problems... more like... talking to my friends about it

n ranked my friend over my family.... v.v coz of wad they had did to me....

i just saw that a post u put that u have a brother...does he tok to u or help u wif stuff in the past?

so ur parents does not know alot abt u...onli your friends..well try toking to them lk find topic to tok loh...

[PrInCcEsSs]

well i would say go for it. You tell her if she really want to control you then you move out then you will not be same roof as her to control.
provided you are willing to work extra hard to buy your own stuff and rent a room

[ウルキオラ]

yea like last time when choosing course......"design not good dun go design... go business IT!!" so there 2 years *one for olvl one for course* wasted...

it is not the billing which is eyes... she said something about my eyes... lol saying i will goes blind -.-;

i read manga too.... but... i hate feeling so lonely... n i hate rotting at home

wtf...

manga is for mi to kill time...some time i go out play arcade wif friends or alone...when angry go to the beach better to shout..

[jinx-panda]

*pat pat*

Sigh... I've been wanting to go iceskating since i was 3, and i never managed to step into the rink even once because my mom thinks it's dangerous. T__T;;;

[jinx-panda]

-double post- DX

[ウルキオラ]

ice-skating is not that dangerous...rollar blade is quite dangerous...
ice-skating(fall pants wet) rollar blading( fall and u will bleed)

[cageddice]

my parents do not let me go swimmingat my friend;s condo.
the pool is 1.2m deep.

im 1.8metres tall.

they are afraid my toes will drown.



fuckers.

[kura]

well i would say go for it. You tell her if she really want to control you then you move out then you will not be same roof as her to control.
provided you are willing to work extra hard to buy your own stuff and rent a room

think about moving out.....u will ask urself "stay where" ......"money?"


to her it is like nothing.... move out more out lor....

[kura]

dunno lah... some parents are juz...... freaking "annoying"

[Yukin0-ChaN]

Kids are never good enough for parents.
My dad also. I get 98 for exam, he asked me where the 2 points go. I get full marks, he says that it's too easy. Now I get straight "A", he says "ah. ok. Too easy lah." Yay? My mom? "A ah.. I don't understand anyway, don't show me." Watch it when I get C or something. -.- That time got an exchange trip to HK, my mom also don't let me go. But I pay with edusave. What say do she have? None. Being insistent works.

[PrInCcEsSs]

think about moving out.....u will ask urself "stay where" ......"money?"


to her it is like nothing.... move out more out lor....

you can stay at hostel while finding room to rent. you get your money from working.

Yup to me its nothing because i believe i can fight the odds. And i did it. Tadah! Hard but worth it.

[amu-chan]

its like that one la. i also have the same problem. *pat pat*

[miya<3ruki]

People alaways SAY.
Parent nag at you scold you because theyLOVE YOU.

Huh?oh yes.But doesn't sound appealing

[kura]

People alaways SAY.
Parent nag at you scold you because theyLOVE YOU.

Huh?oh yes.But doesn't sound appealing

oh.. yea i must be "thankful" lol *sounds sarcastic* no offence xD

[miya<3ruki]

Lol!

[kaze]

ummm i don't think you have it that bad...

i have bad curfews too, and hardly much freedom to express myself. what i hated a lot was when my mum blatantly saidto me that i was supposed to be aborted but was unable to because i was too big already. now THAT shows how unwanted i was =/

[Melmint]

parents are fun~
my dad is getting married soon~~ wee~~~
hse is selling soon~~~ dunno where to go...
cos both sides got their new life~
YESH is this what they mean by FREEDOM?

[miya<3ruki]

Mel>>ehh, that's hard to reply.

My curfews kinda end at This year.
I sec 1, LEARN to take bus.
Then eoy sec 1 i went china with my friend.
Sec2, i learn to take taxi.
Sec3, i learn to nothing
Sec 4, i lean to go out with friend on the net.

Wao, isn't my life pack with...er....ya.

[kura]

ummm i don't think you have it that bad...

i have bad curfews too, and hardly much freedom to express myself. what i hated a lot was when my mum blatantly saidto me that i was supposed to be aborted but was unable to because i was too big already. now THAT shows how unwanted i was =/

i know how u feels.... i have a few friends who are like that too....

yesterday one of my friend gave me a lecture.... i think i m quite fortunate too...
but ina way i m like u... i feel... unwanted... my mom... always yes..."u better not be in my life better.... causing trouble onli"

[Endless_Waltz]

I agree on being insistent works.

I am pratically not allowed to do anything. Cant cycle, forbidden to rollerblade just because a cousin of mine carelessly act cool and fall then break arm, cannot go friend house, cannot hang out with online friends. And one fine day, I cannot take it anymore, I scream to my parents left right center and they just shut their mouth not saying anything.

Ever since then, I am considered to them unfillial. Yes I am one would said, but I think I am just over rebellious.

Im not saying being unfillial and rebellious is good but, yeah, who in the world like to have their life control and dictate as if they were pets? Best method to get over it is already stated - Prove to your parents that you no longer need to be in their control.

[xMinoru]

i'd always giv the silent treatment if i were unhappy about smth.. silent as in really silent.. even they talk to me.. at most jus.. 'mmm' 'ya' 'okay' 'wadever' lidat onli..

[Melmint]

there are all known as the rebellious stage

[Miavi]

Im not saying being unfillial and rebellious is good but, yeah, who in the world like to have their life control and dictate as if they were pets? Best method to get over it is already stated - Prove to your parents that you no longer need to be in their control.Can't blame them; parents were brought up on the same system by the wonderful gah'ment which loves to dictate that what you can do and must do are "for your own good" and not their coffers.

[soranoyume]

Etto, sorry for treading =/

Erm, I'm 16 but I've been through pretty much I guess.. But heres what I think...

Overseas attachment
It just meant that you'll be going overseas with no kins there. Unless you're lucky and you do have a kin at Germany? Your parents probably worry if you'll have problems or not because you don't have any contacts or anyone to take care of you shall trouble arise. Illness etc.

If you want something, make your parents listen to you. Tell them your situation. Your point of view.

Maturity is the most important part in going overseas alone. By alone, I meant without anyone from your family. And you really have to do your research on that country, attachment or not.

I'm 16, but my mum does allow me to self-tour Japan. With the only condition: " Pay the expenses yourself". I'm fine with it. I'm going Japan next year if I have the finance ready then.

Etto, Endless_Waltz. Nobody wants that, up till now. My mum does that too.. My hair length etc. But its pretty much understandable. They are a generation away of us. And thats a big gap in difference of mindsets =/.

BUT, they have the "rights" you know... At least until you're legally adult, 21.

Some parents don't care if you prove it or not. Because it seems childish to them. You don't prove to them specifically to let them know your are mature. But let them know that by thinking through things maturely and let them realise " Ah, my child has grown up".

This gives them a sense of security in releasing the tightened grip.

Rebellious doesn't equate to Unfillial.
But unfilial does equate to rebellious.

Its just like you're right but doesn't mean they are wrong. You are just wrong to shout at them. Sorry if I do offend you but its the truth. Being mature doesn't meant losing your cool. Sure, everyone have a childish side in them. But yelling at them because you kept it inside you for a long time is basically your fault because you didn't want to tell them in the proper way.

Not sure if I missed out anything, because I barely skimmed through.

Don't flame me =P

Edit:

Etto, Melmint.. If you aren't over 21.. You probably would be placed in custody of one side. If they are divorced. =/

[Yukin0-ChaN]

@soranoyume - You certainly don't sound like a 16 year old. It's not a bad thing. =)

To me... You should study for your own sake, do everything for your own sake, Not to gain recognition from your parents. Well, partly, yes. But, if everything you do is to gain their recognition, you'd have a very hard life.

[PrInCcEsSs]

People alaways SAY.
Parent nag at you scold you because theyLOVE YOU.

Huh?oh yes.But doesn't sound appealing

har does throwing stuff at me and calling me names and telling me always to close down my business and give away my dogs or sell away includes in the loving me part? lols

[Melmint]

yawnz~
me no really care which side i go ah~
just gimme a room with my com and net
allowance every month
ok good enough

[ShyB0i]

(Am I allowed to share my experience here too? I'll delete this if I can't.)

I'm not allowed to do anything initially. No computers, no games, no going out (not even downstairs), no phone conversations, nothing. Could've died then, no idea how I survived.


Primary sch... was tolerable, I guess.. just that my mum will always bring me to and from sch, and brings my lunch for me if I've to stay back for extra lessons or what not. I didn't mind it that much, cuz at that period of time I thought it showed how much she loved me. Then, around upper secondary, I lied to my parents about extra lessons, told her nt to bring lunch anymore, and played block catching / MTG with my friends.

Then.. secondary school came. She taught me how to get to school, and permited me to go to sch myself (I think she's probably just too lazy to wake up early in the morning anymore :x).
She doesn't allow me to play the computer tho, so I had to resort to using my sis's old laptop since she locked the computer, till one day I got found out, and the laptop wasn't accessible too. Thus, I saved up all my money (which was like 1 pathetic dollar a day), skipped lunch, ang baos and what not, till I had like... 1k+, went to sim lim, and built my own system. (i had done research using the school's library computers. She raised a hell of a ruckus when she came home that day, threatening to throw the computer out. Luckily, that didn't happen. I stopped getting allowance for months after that tho, cuz "You have $ to buy computer, no need eat lunch, so no need $ lor".

From sec 3, I'd play computer games and chat online at home, and when they came home to see my playing.. well, hell broke loose. They were arguing with each other almost every night, and the only communication they would have with me is 'turn off that darn computer'. Thus, I learnt what time they were around and what time they wouldn't be, and only played when they weren't around.

Sec 4... my sis got pregnant. Parents were really, really furious, cuz they didn't even know she had a new bf. Afraid I would be the same, they locked me at home after school, and even locked the computer I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY. So yeah... rotted at home. Sis would sneak home occasionally (she still had the key) and bring me out with her.

Now that I'm in poly.. I'm allowed to use the computer at home(they had to let me). Started to socialize online, hang out with online friends, play games, etc They would still grumble about me using the computer tho, but I'd usually just ignore them.

Since secondary school till now, I still have to lie to my parents to be able to go out (and they still refused to let me most of the time), but its way better now. I bought my own hp too, and the bill's sent to my sis at first, so my parents wouldn't know. They found out one day tho, when I forgot to hide it, but they didn't really do anything bout that.

[jinx-panda]

woah shyboi so is so smart to build your own computer OwO

[amu-chan]

@ShyB0i: *admires* i never will have that much courage. haha

[Kurabawa]

mm.. juz something i wanna say

if this situation happens, u can ask ur dad to persuade ur mom, since ur dad supports u rite? u can also ask ur bro to talk to ur mom with u also. and if u insist on that matter and keep bugging her abt it everyday, she would prolly change her mind.

show to her that u can take care of urself without family members and u might want to stop quarrelling with her as she might not let u go because u keep arguing with her. some parents oppose their child becuz their child opposes them. try to gain her trust to let u go day by day and it will work out somehow

and as everybody have said, be persistant. if that is ur goal den go for it. plan ur future and make sure that u succeed. prove to her that this is very important for u and ur future. tell her that a child cannot always depend on the parent forever. one should teach their child to fish and not catch fish for them everyday. be independent!

juz my thoughts =/

[Evan]

you shld be happy to have such a caring mother.
overseas alone isn't a joke.

[Evan]

(Am I allowed to share my experience here too? I'll delete this if I can't.)

I'm not allowed to do anything initially. No computers, no games, no going out (not even downstairs), no phone conversations, nothing. Could've died then, no idea how I survived.


Primary sch... was tolerable, I guess.. just that my mum will always bring me to and from sch, and brings my lunch for me if I've to stay back for extra lessons or what not. I didn't mind it that much, cuz at that period of time I thought it showed how much she loved me. Then, around upper secondary, I lied to my parents about extra lessons, told her nt to bring lunch anymore, and played block catching / MTG with my friends.

Then.. secondary school came. She taught me how to get to school, and permited me to go to sch myself (I think she's probably just too lazy to wake up early in the morning anymore :x).
She doesn't allow me to play the computer tho, so I had to resort to using my sis's old laptop since she locked the computer, till one day I got found out, and the laptop wasn't accessible too. Thus, I saved up all my money (which was like 1 pathetic dollar a day), skipped lunch, ang baos and what not, till I had like... 1k+, went to sim lim, and built my own system. (i had done research using the school's library computers. She raised a hell of a ruckus when she came home that day, threatening to throw the computer out. Luckily, that didn't happen. I stopped getting allowance for months after that tho, cuz "You have $ to buy computer, no need eat lunch, so no need $ lor".

From sec 3, I'd play computer games and chat online at home, and when they came home to see my playing.. well, hell broke loose. They were arguing with each other almost every night, and the only communication they would have with me is 'turn off that darn computer'. Thus, I learnt what time they were around and what time they wouldn't be, and only played when they weren't around.

Sec 4... my sis got pregnant. Parents were really, really furious, cuz they didn't even know she had a new bf. Afraid I would be the same, they locked me at home after school, and even locked the computer I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY. So yeah... rotted at home. Sis would sneak home occasionally (she still had the key) and bring me out with her.

Now that I'm in poly.. I'm allowed to use the computer at home(they had to let me). Started to socialize online, hang out with online friends, play games, etc They would still grumble about me using the computer tho, but I'd usually just ignore them.

Since secondary school till now, I still have to lie to my parents to be able to go out (and they still refused to let me most of the time), but its way better now. I bought my own hp too, and the bill's sent to my sis at first, so my parents wouldn't know. They found out one day tho, when I forgot to hide it, but they didn't really do anything bout that.

wow

[soranoyume]

Shyboi, thats really good. Considering I'm almost in the same plight.. =/

Yeah, build our own systems! LOL (though I didn't really spend that much to build one ._.)

Yeah, about the allowance part. They always uses the same trick. You don't do the things they want you to, no allowance.. But luckily I scrimped and won the "battle" -.-

Anyways, I agree with Evan. Going overseas alone isn't a joke. I'm considering immigrating to Japan myself anytime after I served NS. But still, that'll require alot of cash... Talking about needing to fend for yourself. (I don't think you expect your parents to send allowance to you as well when you're on attachment?)

Princess-
That means you and your parents have a clash in opinions.. Still, it'd be good to talk it out nicely.. If it doesn't work so be it.. I've been called a bastard too. But apparently sometimes they just lost their cool. I learnt not to take things to heart as long as they are negative to a point of extreme..

Yukino-chan
Eheh.. I take it as a compliment? Er.. Sometimes recognition is not given.. Actually, no matter how you prove it. Basically some parents learnt not to say "Sorry", "Thank you" or "Wow you've done well".

That applies to my mum too... I remembered scoring straight A's and not getting the things I was promised.. Remembered scoring top for a subject and wasn't praised for the good job done?

Er, theres probably more.. But i shan't bore you all with the details ^^||

[PrInCcEsSs]

soranoyume> well more than just that imagine my fright when i was a kid seeing something sharp hurling at me. Well the names part is more than just any bastard i have even been called as prostitute, hmm

[Endless_Waltz]

Etto, sorry for treading =/

Erm, I'm 16 but I've been through pretty much I guess.. But heres what I think...

Overseas attachment
It just meant that you'll be going overseas with no kins there. Unless you're lucky and you do have a kin at Germany? Your parents probably worry if you'll have problems or not because you don't have any contacts or anyone to take care of you shall trouble arise. Illness etc.

If you want something, make your parents listen to you. Tell them your situation. Your point of view.

Maturity is the most important part in going overseas alone. By alone, I meant without anyone from your family. And you really have to do your research on that country, attachment or not.

I'm 16, but my mum does allow me to self-tour Japan. With the only condition: " Pay the expenses yourself". I'm fine with it. I'm going Japan next year if I have the finance ready then.

Etto, Endless_Waltz. Nobody wants that, up till now. My mum does that too.. My hair length etc. But its pretty much understandable. They are a generation away of us. And thats a big gap in difference of mindsets =/.

BUT, they have the "rights" you know... At least until you're legally adult, 21.

Some parents don't care if you prove it or not. Because it seems childish to them. You don't prove to them specifically to let them know your are mature. But let them know that by thinking through things maturely and let them realise " Ah, my child has grown up".

This gives them a sense of security in releasing the tightened grip.

Rebellious doesn't equate to Unfillial.
But unfilial does equate to rebellious.

Its just like you're right but doesn't mean they are wrong. You are just wrong to shout at them. Sorry if I do offend you but its the truth. Being mature doesn't meant losing your cool. Sure, everyone have a childish side in them. But yelling at them because you kept it inside you for a long time is basically your fault because you didn't want to tell them in the proper way.

Not sure if I missed out anything, because I barely skimmed through.

Don't flame me =P

Edit:

Etto, Melmint.. If you aren't over 21.. You probably would be placed in custody of one side. If they are divorced. =/

Hahaha I am glad someone post this. xD

I have change through the recent years, realising my own mistakes and all for screaming them. Nowadays, even if I know I dont have the authorities, I still do told them off for the mistake they done. For eg, the 1k my grandpa give to me for my studies was use by my mum to buy food and pay bills. I dont really blame her for that, but just taking away the money like this without informing makes me mad. I manage to stop blowing up because a friend who understand my temper manage to get me to cool down when she came to my house when im sick one day. Lol she is like my personal anger managing counsellor. (her slap make me wake up) xD

Through her and certain friends and teachers, I manage to change from a anytime can blow up and kill ppl person to a now much more calm and composed guy.

And lol, getting good results also dont get me the stuffs they promised. xD
Well, they just use that to make us to better. xD

[kura]

(Am I allowed to share my experience here too? I'll delete this if I can't.)

I'm not allowed to do anything initially. No computers, no games, no going out (not even downstairs), no phone conversations, nothing. Could've died then, no idea how I survived.


Primary sch... was tolerable, I guess.. just that my mum will always bring me to and from sch, and brings my lunch for me if I've to stay back for extra lessons or what not. I didn't mind it that much, cuz at that period of time I thought it showed how much she loved me. Then, around upper secondary, I lied to my parents about extra lessons, told her nt to bring lunch anymore, and played block catching / MTG with my friends.

Then.. secondary school came. She taught me how to get to school, and permited me to go to sch myself (I think she's probably just too lazy to wake up early in the morning anymore :x).
She doesn't allow me to play the computer tho, so I had to resort to using my sis's old laptop since she locked the computer, till one day I got found out, and the laptop wasn't accessible too. Thus, I saved up all my money (which was like 1 pathetic dollar a day), skipped lunch, ang baos and what not, till I had like... 1k+, went to sim lim, and built my own system. (i had done research using the school's library computers. She raised a hell of a ruckus when she came home that day, threatening to throw the computer out. Luckily, that didn't happen. I stopped getting allowance for months after that tho, cuz "You have $ to buy computer, no need eat lunch, so no need $ lor".

From sec 3, I'd play computer games and chat online at home, and when they came home to see my playing.. well, hell broke loose. They were arguing with each other almost every night, and the only communication they would have with me is 'turn off that darn computer'. Thus, I learnt what time they were around and what time they wouldn't be, and only played when they weren't around.

Sec 4... my sis got pregnant. Parents were really, really furious, cuz they didn't even know she had a new bf. Afraid I would be the same, they locked me at home after school, and even locked the computer I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY. So yeah... rotted at home. Sis would sneak home occasionally (she still had the key) and bring me out with her.

Now that I'm in poly.. I'm allowed to use the computer at home(they had to let me). Started to socialize online, hang out with online friends, play games, etc They would still grumble about me using the computer tho, but I'd usually just ignore them.

Since secondary school till now, I still have to lie to my parents to be able to go out (and they still refused to let me most of the time), but its way better now. I bought my own hp too, and the bill's sent to my sis at first, so my parents wouldn't know. They found out one day tho, when I forgot to hide it, but they didn't really do anything bout that.

this almost sound the same like me.....but my bro dun get others pregnant.... so except for that part....n urs is much more stricter.

in pri... i was hated by the whole class... coz i m being over protect by my parents.... wants allowed to stay after school for projects... which makes me always alone when coming to projects n stuff..... everyday come home... is a boring day for me back then... my parents lock up every room... except my room n the kitchen n the toilet... she lock up every single entertainment provider medium.....this is how i straggle back then... go school... being bullied by friends n even teachers... go home got tortured by parents... so a bad childhood for me >.>

in sec, rather have a bit of freedom of stay after school... so almost i stay in school till like 6 pm... den i go home.... sec 2 was my first time really knowing how to use computer n stuff on my own... my mom would lecture me abt using the com n stuff.... when got caught using com to chat online.. on mirc n msn... i was immeddiately ban from the internet...*was sharing com with my elder bro*

in ITE, i demanded for a com... cause i have no choice... n i need it... i still get all the lecture... but.... i cant stop using the com .... stopping com = no need to do hw for me... = teacher #@$#$@ at me..... they wont under stand

i m able to go out.... since after my olvl.... it is said to be ...i m onli able to go out 2 times a month.... but somehow... i m being stubborn... i go out once every week... so.. i have a lot of curfew....

i got my own hp..... with the help of my bro n dad.... but paying my own bills ....

yes there are times that i lied... like... back in my sec schools... i lied abt going out.... i was a frog in a well back then... dunno bugis village n stuff... while my friend.. laughs at me all the time...lol

n yes till now i still get hit from my brothers * sometimes* n parents *once in a while*......lol

for ur info i m 19 this yr.... n is a gal :3

[kura]

mm.. juz something i wanna say

if this situation happens, u can ask ur dad to persuade ur mom, since ur dad supports u rite? u can also ask ur bro to talk to ur mom with u also. and if u insist on that matter and keep bugging her abt it everyday, she would prolly change her mind.

show to her that u can take care of urself without family members and u might want to stop quarrelling with her as she might not let u go because u keep arguing with her. some parents oppose their child becuz their child opposes them. try to gain her trust to let u go day by day and it will work out somehow

and as everybody have said, be persistant. if that is ur goal den go for it. plan ur future and make sure that u succeed. prove to her that this is very important for u and ur future. tell her that a child cannot always depend on the parent forever. one should teach their child to fish and not catch fish for them everyday. be independent!

juz my thoughts =/

the prob is..... not every family is.. so.... nice like some of u...

i have a family that...... i dunno how to say but it is like
house is like a motel...
everyone come home n do their stuff.... no communication...
my parents dun even talk much between em.....

a few days ago i told one of my friends who lost her dad in the early age
"it is not the... presents of the... family member or not..... it is not the money that brings everyone together too....... i know u had lost ur dad.... mine is.. some wad same"
"like how?"
"my home is like an empty place.... a complete family doesnt represent my happiness in this house.... they are like... 'friends' who dont talk to each other much.... not even my dad or mom...everyone is like separated"

for one of the main reason... why i kept arguing wif her..is...
i m a DIGITAL MEDIA DESIGN STUDENT.... n she is tell me to stop using the com.... doesnt sound right? i need the com... =.= .... n she wont understand.....

i m like a "nobody" in this house.... everyone look down on me coz i m in ite's not business but design.... no matter how high i scored..... no one cares.... i m the onli one who is happy-_-

[kura]

another reason why i argue wif her.... it is also due to stuff like... she wans to take control over me...
back then in o lvls..... i dun have to say i... wasted two years.... minus olvl yr... is wasted one yr...

when choosing course.....I'D SAID THAT....I WONT BE ABLE TO DO WELL IN BUSINESS.... n no one cares to listen~...

so.. i wasted one year... n i fllung almost all my score den they notice....
SUPER NICE LOR.....

n approve for my change of course.....

[soranoyume]

Gomen mina! This post is likely to be long and draggy. But please put your attention to it if it somehows concern you ^^||

Princess, I guess I can't say anything else in retort then. If it seems all dark and stuffs for you.. Can we safely assume that you think your parents doesn't love you in the proper way?
Minority of de parenting population is like that, sadly. Still, they bore you to this world.. So maybe, try not to do anything back at them.. At most just move out.. "lorh" ._.

Endless_Waltz, hey I guess I didn't offend you, or something ^^||. Eto.. Friends are really wonderful people huh. But try not to rely on them too much. Because I believe not all friends will stick to you all the way.. Kinship is still the one's lying around when all's lost.. in most cases.

kura, your parents probably have a very very conservative mindset. Still, as long as its getting better, I guess you should put it behind you. ><
And regarding the handphone part.. I've been paying my own bills and whatsoever that I wanted by myself, through allowance or whatsoever.. Handphone bills, computer, crumpler bag, singing lessons. And in the near future, Japanese language lessons, cosplay costumes, and loads of other stuffs. I won't say how much I'll need and have spent.. But you can probably imagine how much I struggle to pay those, even my transportation with a mere $10 a day (including all meals in a day, mind you)

But, I'm very troubled about your brother(s) or parent(s) are hitting you. You know theres an abuse hotline? As long as you are being abused, you can go to them. Of course, jailing is not a necessary consequence. But it'll make them learn the hard way.. STILL, you have to warn them on not to hit you (if they ridiculously abused you)

And Kura, my house is this way as well. If you want to talk about when its not school holiday.. I "NEVER" spoke to my brother, or my mother. Its long hours in school, home, dinner, shower, bed and the endless boring cycle. And my parents is divorced. Hence I seldom spoke to my dad.

Kura, if you have passion for something, go for it. It goes the same for everyone out there. I'm going after a singing career, but I'm thinking about seiyuu too. LOL However, if you want something go for it. Not all entrepreneurs have a smooth start. =)

Being nobody is nice, because you don't have responsibilities. Just do your stuff. You'll be somebody when you have your success... And I'd like to quote this "People who makes history are the only ones remembered after they leave this world". Thats the cruel truth, so everyone here is pretty much a nobody =/.

Lastly, Kura. Be proud of yourself. If no one is proud of you, you have to at least be happy with yourself. You've done something, is sastified with it. Continue working hard! =)

Some people just wants to learn it the hard way. But just take it easy, you and I, we all are still young... Not to mention all males already loses 2 yrs of chances, jobs and studies to government =/

[PrInCcEsSs]

Soranoyume> Already moved out haha

[soranoyume]

Princess - I see, living well? Its not easy to pay a rent nowadays..

[PrInCcEsSs]

Soranoyume- Struggling haha..

[soranoyume]

guess thats one of the bad parts on living on your own... gambatte yo! =)

[Endless_Waltz]

Endless_Waltz, hey I guess I didn't offend you, or something ^^||. Eto.. Friends are really wonderful people huh. But try not to rely on them too much. Because I believe not all friends will stick to you all the way.. Kinship is still the one's lying around when all's lost.. in most cases.

Well, that friend of mine... She left the world already.

[Vectors]

haiz still gotta respect princess for moving out so early peace bro

[soranoyume]

Ah.. I see, you have my condolences. Endless

[Endless_Waltz]

Lol this may go OT but from my point of view, good ppl always end fast.

[Vectors]

My parents use reverse psychology against me...haha

their attidute is you wan die you go die lo....you wan run awai run awai lo...haha then make me beri scare scare so mus obey..hmm good tactic

[Endless_Waltz]

Reverse Psychology cannot work against me. Mum tried it, failed badly. xD

[soranoyume]

I've got reverse psychology in my mind. So using reverse psychology on me will only push me further ._.

[PrInCcEsSs]

guess thats one of the bad parts on living on your own... gambatte yo! =)


thanks =)

[PrInCcEsSs]

Reverse Psychology cannot work against me. Mum tried it, failed badly. xD

haha same she said take prince la take prince la (my dog) then when i took him out of the door she quickly stop me but alas now prince is with me not with her.